Classic Moment in Broadcasting History
For reasons best left to another blog, I have been watching tons of non-Jay games on mlb.tv this year, which has unfortunately made me completely unable to tolerate Buck and Tabler doing their thing. I used to think that it was just because every announcer would wear on you after 162-games, but I can now report with some assurance that the Jays have two of the most clueless, boring, and completely charmless announcers on the planet.
I mean, yeah…there are a few real dum-dums out there, but most of them are the type of dudes that you could see chatting with while watching a game over a beer. They banter, they make fun of each other. They tell the occasional anecdote, bring up a stat or two, but are all pretty chill.
Buck acts like you’re a four-year-old who has never seen a game of baseball before, and spouts off his sketchy baseball opinions like they were written in 50-foot-high flaming letters on the side of a mountain, delivered by god. He can spot what’s wrong with someone’s after one hack, and he’s got a PHD is psychology. It’s all rather rich for someone who was a lousy hitter and a worse manager.
Tabler latches onto the first thought he has and pursues it like a rabid terrier, piling on more and more vague aphorisms to support his point even as you can hear him losing his certainty like Artax sinking into the swamp. If it becomes clear that was he is saying did not actually happen or could not possibly be true, he just drops it and hopes nobody notices. My personal peeve though, is that if there is a runner on first, whichever team is at bat should be stealing 100% of the time (unless the player on first is so slow that the team can only hit-and-run). Pat seems truly incredulous, as if the managers are not doing their job when this does not in fact happen — regardless of the game situation.
Anyway, enough venting…here’s a clip of a squeeze play by Toronto featuring Tab’s classic over-the-top-sureness about how aggressiveness is not a strong card, but the only card that you should ever play at all times for any reason. Note that the runner was safe at home by inches.
Tabler on feed 1: “It’s a great play because, if you get the ball down, and you execute this play, there’s no way that the defence can defend it.”
Ashby on feed 2: “I have to say I don’t like that play at all…if the Marlins execute with a good throw to the plate, Edwin’s out.”
(Edit: Sorry, forgot the link. The funny part is the two quotes come right after each other in the mash-up clip).
Look, I don’t care — I’m not a fan of this play at this time, but there are about a million interesting things that could be said about the pros and cons of it, the game situation, small-ball in general. Who needs this blinkers-on rah-rah nonsense disguised as analysis?