The One That Got Away
So you used to know this girl. A real knockout, hugely talented, tons of potential. She Was a little gawky and went through some ups and downs in her early 20’s (like most of the special ones do), but you held on to each other and worked through the rough times and it was worth it.
But you were a bit of a mess back in the day and never wanted to commit, even to such an amazing creature. To really just dive in and go for it, the big one, the whole shebang. Through time that became an issue, and after giving up a lot to be with you eventually she just had to leave, despite you still being in love with each other. You parted on good terms but still it hurt so bad. Deep down, you both knew that she was wasting your time with you in the gutter.
Now you see her in concert years later, really flourishing. Playing on the world stage, a virtuoso performance. And you’re happy, truly happy for her. You had your time and still have your memories but now she’s where she belongs, with someone who can really give her the stability and room to shine that she always deserved. You even meet her new man (a great guy, real winner) and talk about the old days before the show, smile and laugh. It’s all water under the bridge.
And hey, you have no real complaints. You’re seeing a bunch of hot young talent. You got a lot out of your time together. After you went your separate ways it shook you up a little, and now you’re finally getting your life together. People are even pleasantly surprised at how you’ve turned things around so quickly, and think that you might actually be going somewhere. Life is good, and things turned out for the best, really.
But as you slink out the rear exit of the concert hall on your way back to your dingy apartment and everyman existence, you look back at her on stage, glowing, as she receives a standing ovation from a packed house, and in that moment she catches your eye for just a second and it all comes rushing back the way it used to be: thrilling, intense, incredible, and despite your best attempts at high-minded graciousness the loss and the shame of it all stabs you in the gut like an icicle and you think: FUCK. That could have been me. Waiting with a glass of champagne in the limo, for royalty, at this perfect and triumphant moment. Forget all the logical bullshit about why it wasn’t meant to be – if I had really, truly, wanted, I could have made that happen. What was I thinking? What have I done? And then you drink.
Congrats, Doc. You deserve it all. I still love you.