The Mockingbird

The One That Got Away

with 7 comments

So you used to know this girl. A real knockout, hugely talented, tons of potential. She Was a little gawky and went through some ups and downs in her early 20’s (like most of the special ones do), but you held on to each other and worked through the rough times and it was worth it.

But you were a bit of a mess back in the day and never wanted to commit, even to such an amazing creature. To really just dive in and go for it, the big one, the whole shebang. Through time that became an issue, and after giving up a lot to be with you eventually she just had to leave, despite you still being in love with each other. You parted on good terms but still it hurt so bad. Deep down, you both knew that she was wasting your time with you in the gutter.

Now you see her in concert years later, really flourishing. Playing on the world stage, a virtuoso performance. And you’re happy, truly happy for her. You had your time and still have your memories but now she’s where she belongs, with someone who can really give her the stability and room to shine that she always deserved. You even meet her new man (a great guy, real winner) and talk about the old days before the show, smile and laugh. It’s all water under the bridge.

And hey, you have no real complaints. You’re seeing a bunch of hot young talent. You got a lot out of your time together. After you went your separate ways it shook you up a little, and now you’re finally getting your life together. People are even pleasantly surprised at how you’ve turned things around so quickly, and think that you might actually be going somewhere. Life is good, and things turned out for the best, really.

But as you slink out the rear exit of the concert hall on your way back to your dingy apartment and everyman existence, you look back at her on stage, glowing, as she receives a standing ovation from a packed house, and in that moment she catches your eye for just a second and it all comes rushing back the way it used to be: thrilling, intense, incredible, and despite your best attempts at high-minded graciousness the loss and the shame of it all stabs you in the gut like an icicle and you think: FUCK. That could have been me. Waiting with a glass of champagne in the limo, for royalty, at this perfect and triumphant moment. Forget all the logical bullshit about why it wasn’t meant to be – if I had really, truly, wanted, I could have made that happen. What was I thinking? What have I done? And then you drink.

Congrats, Doc. You deserve it all. I still love you.

Written by halejon

October 7, 2010 at 3:17 pm

Posted in Seriousness

7 Responses

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  1. He didn’t “get away.” We traded him.

    Navin V.

    October 8, 2010 at 12:42 am

  2. Shit that made me laugh, and almost cry.

    AkiSchennberg

    December 9, 2010 at 10:15 am

  3. Ahh, the Mockingbird. A rare bird around these parts these days. But a beauty none-the-less.

    GilFisher

    December 11, 2010 at 3:27 pm

  4. Why didn’t you post like this on the Jays board? Or did I miss it. Anyway, great.

    ATBAT

    March 5, 2011 at 5:35 am

  5. I started maybe 2-3 posts on that board and was shocked at how much attitude people would bring about things they clearly didn’t understand or had hardly read. Like Navin up there. All you can really do on any of those boards is smack people down for a while until you get bored; there’s never more than half a dozen people who actually want to discuss things and learn from each other.

    halejon

    March 5, 2011 at 5:01 pm

  6. Can’t argue or disagree with any of that and don’t blame you. Selfishly, what it also does is deplete the amount of quality posters with which to have interesting discourse when guys like yourself lose interest and patience and guys like myself are left with the likes of Navin. Once again, beautiful piece.

    ATBAT

    March 5, 2011 at 8:44 pm

  7. Yep. I recall being disappointed as one after another of the old quality posters (Remember Kirksaw? He used to ump in a league I played in…really good guy) drifted off, and then found myself doing the exact same thing for the exact same reason. Good on you for persevering, I’m sure there’s new talent drifting in that would otherwise miss out on the good stuff.

    I can honestly say that I owe my baseball ‘enlightenment’ to that board. I really had no idea that you could treat it like a science – thinking up theories and then testing them with numbers – before someone smacked me down a few times. It really opened my eyes and gave me a whole other level on which to appreciate the game, and I hope that is continuing to happen for others.

    halejon

    March 5, 2011 at 9:24 pm


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