Baseball is a pretty funny game. Since most games consist of flipping a slightly-weighted coin, crazy [stuff] can happen. Wildcard teams that squeak into the playoffs win on a semi-regular basis. The 2006 Cincinnati Cardinals win the world series. The Tampa Bay Devil Rays occasionally sweep the Toronto Blue Jays. You know, that kind of [doing] [stuff]. It leads to wild swings of panic and incredible bouts of arrogance throughout the year. Remember when the Jays had just swept the Red Sox and were world series favorites?
But this is just amazing- some dude at Bugs and Cranks is giving the business to Stoeten, the rather sensible member (sorry Parkes- you’re eye candy and Bergkamp a loveable one-trick pony) of the Drunk Jays fans for dismissing Erik Hinske as “Shitske”. True, he had a great series against his old club, but this is just priceless:
Hmmm. What would we call the love child of Ruth and Mays? Baillie Rays? Baby Rays? Since his opening day home run, there has been whispers of being this year’s EGDC Pena….
I don’t even know what to say. I guess when you get lucky with a late-bloomer like Carlos Pena, you assume everyone that can hit for 20 games is that guy again. Allow me to confirm, Hinske is not that guy. Unlike Pena, no scout has ever seen the giant holes in his swing and thought for one second, after two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, laughers, screamers, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls, that he might be that guy.
Hinske gotten off to plenty off hot starts:
- His .417 average and 1.196 OPS by this point last season
- His .317 average through as many games (19) in 2006
- His .848 OPS and 17 RBI in April in 2007
I actually sort of feel for Eric, having done so terribly against the Jays so far. He was kind of like Reed Johnson- an average player that played himself into an untenable contract. But trust me, you don’t want to gloat about Erik Hinske’s success and/or get behind him as your offensive saviour while referring to two off the best pitchers in league (Roy Halladay and Dustin McGowan) as “Billie Halladay” and “Dustin “Rose” McGowan” due to their lackluster win totals. Other than the whole “you throw like a girl” political incorrectness, I promise that will make you look like an idiot when the year is done. But then that would take someone willing to immortalize this post and bring it up once Shitske does his yearly plunge down to the .257 career average he knows so well. And who would be so petty?? Hmmmm….