The Mockingbird

Ah, Hubris

with 12 comments

Baseball is a pretty funny game. Since most games consist of flipping a slightly-weighted coin, crazy [stuff] can happen. Wildcard teams that squeak into the playoffs win on a semi-regular basis. The 2006 Cincinnati Cardinals win the world series. The Tampa Bay Devil Rays occasionally sweep the Toronto Blue Jays. You know, that kind of [doing] [stuff]. It leads to wild swings of panic and incredible bouts of arrogance throughout the year. Remember when the Jays had just swept the Red Sox and were world series favorites?

But this is just amazing- some dude at Bugs and Cranks is giving the business to Stoeten, the rather sensible member (sorry Parkes- you’re eye candy and Bergkamp a loveable one-trick pony) of the Drunk Jays fans for dismissing Erik Hinske as “Shitske”. True, he had a great series against his old club, but this is just priceless:

Hmmm. What would we call the love child of Ruth and Mays? Baillie Rays? Baby Rays? Since his opening day home run, there has been whispers of being this year’s EGDC Pena….

I don’t even know what to say. I guess when you get lucky with a late-bloomer like Carlos Pena, you assume everyone that can hit for 20 games is that guy again. Allow me to confirm, Hinske is not that guy. Unlike Pena, no scout has ever seen the giant holes in his swing and thought for one second, after two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, laughers, screamers, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls, that he might be that guy.

Hinske gotten off to plenty off hot starts:

  • His .417 average and 1.196 OPS by this point last season
  • His .317 average through as many games (19) in 2006
  • His .848 OPS and 17 RBI in April in 2007

I actually sort of feel for Eric, having done so terribly against the Jays so far. He was kind of like Reed Johnson- an average player that played himself into an untenable contract. But trust me, you don’t want to gloat about Erik Hinske’s success and/or get behind him as your offensive saviour while referring to two off the best pitchers in league (Roy Halladay and Dustin McGowan) as “Billie Halladay” and “Dustin “Rose” McGowan” due to their lackluster win totals. Other than the whole “you throw like a girl” political incorrectness, I promise that will make you look like an idiot when the year is done. But then that would take someone willing to immortalize this post and bring it up once Shitske does his yearly plunge down to the .257 career average he knows so well. And who would be so petty?? Hmmmm….


Written by halejon

April 25, 2008 at 1:02 am

Posted in Seriousness

12 Responses

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  1. I would almost certainly be that petty. I’m making a mental note of this post right now.

    I also enjoyed the Dr. Thompson reference.

    David Chalk

    April 25, 2008 at 10:00 am

  2. yo i hope stoeten takes this douche bag to school…

    Navin Vaswani

    April 25, 2008 at 10:46 am

  3. Ok, but don’t say I didn’t warn you…The whole “looks so good for a brief period of time he makes you want to sign him to a 5 year contract” is what got him into trouble with Toronto fans in the first place. He’s only going to break your heart.


    April 25, 2008 at 12:14 pm

  4. “Billie Halladay” is so pathetically uncreative, no?


    April 26, 2008 at 12:57 am

  5. Hinske may not be that bad. Granted, I’m a fan-boy for him, inexplicably, but I saw somewhere the a few sabermetric indicators suggest he could be better this year than in years past. I thought I bookmarked it but can’t find it now, but it had to do with his ground ball/fly ball/strike-out rates suggesting the power could stick around. Based on his BABIP, though, I’d definitely expect his average to regress, maybe not to .257 but at most .280.

    Also, to introduced myself, I’m Blake from over at The On Deck Circle. Love your work, especially the Pitch F/X stuff.

    Blake Murphy

    April 26, 2008 at 11:11 am

  6. Hi Blake, thanks for the kudos. A Hinske fan-boy, now I’ve seen it all! (*Secretly caresses life-sized poster of him bought in 2002*)

    I’d be interested to see those numbers if you come across them again. No question he’s knocking the crap out the ball and not K’ing as much, but I’m curious to see what a SABR type might be saying implies that could be a permanent change.

    He’s really not THAT bad…and I honestly believe him when he says he’s better playing full time than trying to come off the bench. But at the end of the season I think a breakout season for him would be “serviceable” and not “power threat”.


    April 26, 2008 at 11:51 am

  7. Jessica: Yeah, I wouldn’t be caught dead referring to “Erica Hinske” or something like that. We serve only high-quality mockery. There’s a lot more you could do with Dr and Dusty jokes, too. But I won’t.


    April 26, 2008 at 11:52 am

  8. Found it (From Yahoo): The 30-year-old hook has always been an adequate source of 15-20 homer pop in deeper formats, but his sharp rise in FB% (’07: 43.9, ’08: 50.0) and precipitous decline in GB% (45.5, 34.8) shows he’s getting tremendous lift on the baseball. Scouts have maintained that mental lapses have adversely affected Hinke’s mechanics over prolonged stretches during his career. With that in mind, based on his lowly 15.2 LD% and very fortunate .317 BABIP, his ability to sustain a .300 average over the season, or the next few weeks, is highly unlikely.

    Also, yes, the childish name calling is lame. At least use dirty innuendos.

    Blake Murphy

    April 26, 2008 at 1:42 pm

  9. Hmmmm…sometimes Yahoo stretches the predictive value of things a little (I should know, I pump that shit out…) If you told me that some player had doubled his HR rate and was hitting doubles faster than at any point in his career as well, I think I would be able to guess that his FB% had gone up at least 6% over 62 AB. GB’s, okkkk…10% is ALMOST significant over such a short time.

    Bat yah…I’m being a prick. He’s definitely hitting like a better hitter (i.e. a flyball hitter) right now. I don’t think that his BABIP takes a lot off what he’s done so far. It’s not the same for pitchers where it bounces around .300 for everyone and you can expect it to return there eventually. If he’s the real deal (and especially if he keeps hitting line drives), he’ll sustain that.


    April 26, 2008 at 4:36 pm

  10. Jon, I’m sorry, I’ve been busy and didn’t even read this until now– which is weird, because typically I Google my own name daily. Wait.. no, that’s Parkes.

    Anyway, I don’t care if I’m late or if you’ve already nailed the response. I’ll have a thing or two to say to these hacks. I think we’ve really pissed off B&C by being good and pointing out that they’re not.

    Thanks for the heads up…


    April 27, 2008 at 6:47 pm

  11. Whew. Do it! I thought you were avoiding the comeback and pissed because I stole your thunder. I just couldn’t help myself, gloating over Hinske is like a baby throwing his candy into my mouth.


    April 27, 2008 at 11:55 pm

  12. […] importantly though, Stoeten and other prominent Jays writers seem to have misunderstood what I was trying to […]

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