The Mockingbird

Spring Preview

with 11 comments

It’s just about that time of year when the internet is flooded with predictions and rankings for next season by everyone with a keyboard. Of course nobody is going to be particularly high on the Jays because they’re the only team ever to rely on players returning from surgery, but after finishing in third place for a decade your average hack doesn’t even care enough to proofread their own article. Like the first one from MSNBC, that has no insight you couldn’t find by surfing the Jays home page for 10 minutes, and the elegant passage:

A.J. Burnett is another thing that could push up the Jays’ win total. He made only 25 starts last season, but his absence and Gustavo Chacin’s injury allowed Dustan McGowan, Shawn Marcum and Jesse Litsch to grow and develop. It’s much the same story with the position players, as Vernon Wells, Troy Glaus, Lyle Overbay and Reed Johnson all will be coming back from injury-plagued seasons.

Gross. Apparently the Jays are also going to go 85-78. I assume that means at the end of 162 games they will be tied for the wildcard and lose a one-game playoff.

Written by halejon

February 11, 2008 at 4:54 pm

Posted in Seriousness

11 Responses

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  1. Hahaha. I read another preview late last week that was nothing more than a reiteration of last year’s stats. When the writer (and I use the term loosely) got to the shortstop position, he said that he’d never heard of John McDonald, so he wasn’t going to weigh in. He then referred to Josh Towers as a challenger for the fifth spot in the rotation.

    Dustin Parkes

    February 11, 2008 at 7:04 pm

  2. Baseball “experts” are so awesome…they’re just a bunch of dudes who wrote for their university papers, and designated themselves as experts.

    Like Tracy Ringolsby.

    Or us, for that matter.

    Tao of Stieb

    February 11, 2008 at 10:19 pm

  3. Hilariousness. I read that one too… Classic. Something tells me Troy Glaus coming back healthy next year is largely irrelevant to the Jays. Just sayin’.

    And Parkes, I definitely read that exact preview. It was classic. I was ready to harass them about it, but then I decided it just wasn’t worth it.

    I think my favourite this week was the one that had the Jays finishing last in the East behind the Orioles. They were also calling for the Nationals and Pirates to win their divisions and the Pirates to lose to the Yankees in five games in the WS. Then again, I think that one was more of a silly simulation than a preview. Still, it was entertaining.

    Lindsay

    February 11, 2008 at 10:55 pm

  4. Hey, I never wrote for my university paper. Whatever the hell that is.

    halejon

    February 11, 2008 at 11:11 pm

  5. Either of you remember where that article was? I could use a little more bile in my diet. I guess I kind of respect the decision not to plow through and spout off something in ignorance, but I’m not sure totally dodging the position is the way to go.

    halejon

    February 11, 2008 at 11:25 pm

  6. I think we should feed all the previews into MegaHAL and see what it thinks. We’ll probably end up with something even equally as readable as that bizarre blog network.

    Torgen

    February 11, 2008 at 11:45 pm

  7. I found the address… Had to look through my Google Alerts.

    http://baseballreflections.com/2008/02/06/team-analysis-al-east-%e2%80%93-toronto-blue-jays/

    It’s basically someone who doesn’t watch the Jays stating the obvious from what he sees on the stats page. Wait… Vernon Wells had a subpar year?! You don’t say…

    Lindsay

    February 12, 2008 at 12:00 am

  8. Brilliant, Torgen.

    halejon

    February 12, 2008 at 12:48 am

  9. There’s so little in the way of good information out there regarding the Jays. It’s partially the reason why I started my own blog, and continue to read other blogs such as this.

    We Jays fans need to unite and provide the world with true, valuable, and current information regarding this team.

    I’m sick of crappy writers that know nothing.

    And I’m not paying for the ESPN Insider, haha.

    Steven Hawkins

    February 12, 2008 at 7:25 am

  10. Hey there,

    New Jays blog on the block.
    Come have a look if you’re interested.

    http://loljays.blogspot.com/

    Cheers,

    Harold.

    Harold

    February 12, 2008 at 3:33 pm

  11. If y’all are interested, one of our staff is down at Dunedin for the week checking out the Jays and writing about it daily on Bluebird Banter (you can click on my name if interested). He just got down there yesterday. I still can’t see the word Dunedin without thinking of the Lord of the Rings (wasn’t it or something close one of Aaragorn’s many names?)

    hugo

    February 13, 2008 at 3:04 am


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