The Mockingbird

Translation Time with Ted Lilly

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It’s been a while since a good translation was required…a steady stream of “wait until next year” has been coming out of the Jays front office for months now. But here’s a guest appearance from Ted Lilly that’s heavy on the Shadenfreude. In case you missed it, ol’ Ted absolutely imploded on the mound in the second game against the Diamondbacks. He had a terrible outing and after gift-wrapping a 3-2 pitch to Chris Young with a base open to give up the lead further confirmed his mental diagnosis by doing this:

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His comment after the game was:

“I believe if I locate that ball, I get a good result,” Lilly said. “In that situation, when he’s looking fastball there and I throw it up and over the plate, he’s very capable of hitting four-seam fastballs. It’s hard for me to expect a good result.

I read:

“I think if I magically acquire command of my fastball for the first time all game, he doesn’t hit it out of the park,” Lilly said. “In that situation he’s sitting on it and I should have listened to my catcher and thrown the curve, because the rookie knows more about pitching smart than I do.”

And then there’s:

“I guess if I want to think up some excuses I could come us with some BS. It’s something I’ll have a hard time with. I certainly want to get another opportunity.”

equals:

“I haven’t come up with anything plausible and it’s going to take me a while. Thinking is something I have a hard time with. I certainly want to get another opportunity.”

Ok. I’m a little bitter when it comes to ol’ Ted. I think it has something to do with being an uncoachable headcase and treating the Jays to frustrating mediocrity for years, then dangling a false hope of returning with no absolutely no intention of doing so in order to milk as much cash as possible out of the free agent market, choosing the freaking Cubs for a supposedly better chance of winning the World Series, and actually winding up being right in large part due to him finally having a full and excellent season. The only thing I would have enjoyed more than his meltdown would have been if he’d blown an even larger lead by experimenting with his famous knuckleball or sidearm pitches and gotten into a fist fight (no contest) with Lou Pinella on the mound.

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Written by halejon

October 7, 2007 at 4:55 am

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