Why was I not informed? This is probably the worst thing I have ever seen on a baseball field:
Just in case naming your stadium after one of the biggest economic frauds ever, then changing it to a product with the word “maid” in it wasn’t embarrassing enough. Just in case having a 300 foot left field fence and a home run porch sticking out of it hadn’t shown enough disdain for the subtlety of baseball. Just in case you didn’t think that making your novelty home-run train carry oranges instead of coal wasn’t quite enough of a sell-out, there are now cartoon cows on the freaking foul pole telling you to EAT MORE FOWL.
I know there are plenty of advertisements at the Rogers center, even on the outfield walls. But this is messing with one of the classic lines of the ballpark. What’s next? You could probably fit some double arches around the batters box. Maybe a logo or a swoosh or two along the foul lines? Bases are just crying out to be painted like credit cards, and the back of the mound is an empty canvas that is shown for most of every TV broadcast…
I will stop now because they’re probably listening. But I hereby vow that if this sort of thing ever comes to Toronto, I will not let mere incarceration thwart my vigilante attempts to remove them by whatever means necessary.