The Mockingbird

Closer Safety

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In a bizarre move this weekend, the Blue Jays changed the official word on All-Star closer B.J. Ryan’s preseason injury, not once but twice. On Saturday they revealed it was actually the same as his current elbow injury, and then on Sunday they updated both injuries to the familiar and frustratingly vague NHL term “upper body injury”.

When questioned about the lack of clarity on management’s part, Riccardi responded: “It’s just team policy. This isn’t something that opposing media teams need to know. I’m not saying that anyone out there would be intentionally vindictive, but why set yourself up for that kind of situation? All it takes is one perfectly placed headline like “B.J. NOODLEARM?” and it could set him back months in mental recovery time. We’re just protecting our investment.”

Ryan supported the team’s decision. “I’m not going to name names, but some guys out there get paid just to take cheap shots. And professional pitchers are really sensitive when it comes to their arms. I may be able to shrug off the pressure of closing games and deal with the dizzying highs and lows of high-leverage situations, but sometimes all it takes is Gibby coming out to the mound with a “how’s the wing, Bo?” and I’m close to tears. The last thing I need is some rival hack writer gunning for me.”


Written by halejon

May 7, 2007 at 5:08 pm

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  1. So when do we drink our spiked kool-aid?


    May 10, 2007 at 1:46 pm

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