The Mockingbird


with 8 comments

Well, the headlines were screaming that the Jays had swept Boston over two games, so why not? It was a series. We won every game. How is that lame? You have to take your shots at the Yankees while you can because you know eventually they’re going to rehab/buy/exhume enough mediocre starters that their ridiculous lineup will bring them back into contention.

But for now? We just sunk them a little further into the basement and a 6-game losing streak by giving the guy who will likely be torturing us for the next decade a rude (if not soul-crushing and confidence destroying- shucks!) introduction to the major leagues. Does it get any sweeter?? And three days ago you thought everyone was injured and the season was in the tubes…I love baseball.


Written by halejon

April 27, 2007 at 3:33 am

Posted in Seriousness

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8 Responses

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  1. I agree, our only chance is to break his brain early. If he ever learns to harness that arm of his, we’re really in deep shit, for decades.

    “Welcome to the bigs kids, let me introduce you to your two new pitching ‘mentors’……Zack Greinke and Brad Lidge”.

    Perhaps there is some way to impart the “Todd Stottlemyre” style of pitching early. Hey Rick Ankiel, I hear there’s an opening as a pitching coach for the Yankees. Maybe you could just hang out in the clubhouse and whisper sweet nothings in ol’ Hughes’ ear. No pressure or anything.

    Thanks man, that would be great!


    April 27, 2007 at 4:43 am

  2. Lidge: Nice slider, kid…now you’re going to want to bounce it up to the plate, because if you ever leave one over the plate in a crucial situation, you’ll be seeing it in your nightmares every night for the rest of your life – oh god, it’s all coming back… *runs off*

    Greinke: Don’t worry about him, Phil. You’ll be fine as soon as you get out there. In front of everybody. And they’re chanting your name. Even though they don’t know you. Or anything about you. And you hate them. All of them. Hate them all so goddamn much. Fuck this stupid game. *slams glove and leaves*

    I was also thinking we could find some career minor leaguer with a black belt and offer him a million dollar contract to charge the mound on the first pitch down the middle (ok, he wasn’t throwing at me, but it was certainly towards me) and spiral fracture the kid’s arm. Where’s Ken Huckaby when you need him??


    April 27, 2007 at 5:53 am

  3. Good old Huckaby! Mr. dive-head-first-into-Jeter’s-shoulder. Last I heard he had a cooshie job out in Las Vegas, doing the “Sal” for the LA Dodgers. Perhaps we could get Sal to do the “Huckaby” on ARod – I heard some dumb yankees commentator actually speculate yesterday that he might actually hit 200 RBIs. Wtf?


    Speaking of crazy hits on pitchers. Didn’t a Jay pitcher get hit in the back of the head with a helmet when a Durham Bull charged the mound a couple years ago? I remember a watching a video get replayed many times over with the incident – but the details fail me.


    April 27, 2007 at 2:51 pm

  4. It was Dave Bush, during his brief stint in the minors a couple years back. Esix Snead charged him after a 3-2 pitch hit his legs and it was really dirty- the guy went halfway down the first base line, then turned, got to Dave Bush with his back turned, and hit him with his helmet. Dave Bush was Bloodied and left the game.

    There’s another clip in this collection where Mike Sweeney throws his helmet but misses by 5 feet, but this is the best mound charge I’ve ever seen.

    I know…I was going to mock that, but it’s like fish in a barrell. Yes, if he continues this pace that neither he nor any human has ever started a season at for the rest of the year, doesn’t get injured or tired ONCE, and nobody starts walking him, he has an outside chance of beating Hack Wilson’s record…*chuckle*.


    April 27, 2007 at 3:19 pm

  5. Damn you MLB anti-copyright team. That first link has already been busted off youtube. But I have to say that second one is fantastic. They end up all the way in deep center without even throwing a punch!


    April 27, 2007 at 6:29 pm

  6. What the heck? That top 10 has been there forever. Maybe they check incoming links?!? Just to test this theory, here it is again…

    Yeah, I’ve never understood why so many pitchers take the charge. You’re a little wiry guy who CAN’T afford to pump weights all day- get outta there and hide behind the solid block of meat that is your third baseman! Unless your name is Nolan Ryan…


    April 27, 2007 at 6:36 pm

  7. Okay,
    Nolan Ryan is the mayor of awesome town.

    Also, the George Bell meets Mo Vaughn was classic!


    April 27, 2007 at 6:44 pm

  8. He was 46 at the time, too…c’mere you little twerp!


    April 27, 2007 at 7:21 pm

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