Getting on the J-Train
O.K., I’ll admit it. I’ve said some pretty mean things about Josh Towers. Because last year he hurt me. Hurt me bad. If we were in a relationship, he didn’t just sleep with my sister- he videotaped it from multiple angles, re-cut the juicy moments and made a million bucks on the Internet. He didn’t just steal my stuff, he spray-painted my apartment walls with feces and threw my cats out the window. He didn’t just rip out my heart and step on it- ok, you get the idea…Last year was incredibly, excruciatingly, even surreally, BAD.
But you know what? I’m over it. And I wish him the best. Because I’m bigger than that. And because continuing to make snide remarks about his 2-10 monstrosity is like making fun of the fat kid, and I’m starting to feel dead inside. Instead, I’m going to wholeheartedly embrace the media frenzy that has been building all spring training and is currently reaching a fever pitch over his 5 innings of respectable pitching. Why, you ask? Why would I put myself out there again for a no-hoper? Well, for the same reason that respectable journalists have written more articles about him than every other pitcher we have combined, with titles such as:
Towers of Strength (Optimism high for Jays pitcher!)
Because we can smell a comeback story. Last season was the start of the movie where the hero walks off the field, his career ruined after being too cocky and missing the biggest shot of his life. Then he meets up with the scrappy trainer (Reed!) who shows him how to Be All He Can Be, and leads his team back to victory and personal glory. Which in this case would be the Jays winning the wildcard and him going 10-10 (still probably enough to win him comeback player of the year under the circumstances). So get on board the J-train because from here on, we’re all pro-Josh, all the time.
(Has 87 mph ever looked so good??)