The Mockingbird

Running Jokes

with 16 comments

You know when you mutter something under your breath, say: “he’s not so tough, I could kick his ass” after having had metaphorical sand kicked in your face by some 10-ton Gorilla, and your girlfriend is so impressed by this unique burst of courage that she not only takes you dead seriously, but goes out of her way to give you the opportunity to follow through on it by remembering the guy for months and bringing up your claim in his presence loudly and inappropriately at some later, much more sober date?

Well, I am firmly of the opinion that blogs should keep tabs on each other in the manner of a loving but dysfunctional relationship, and sometime during this long cold, offseason, The Tao of Stieb made just such a bold claim while letting off some steam over the signing of Aaron Rowand:

Rowand went 27 HRs and 89 RsBI in that postage stamped sized novelty miniature ball park in Philly. We swear: if dude hits 20 homers in any of those five years, we’ll eat a pound of raw bacon. For reals.

Although we agree that this coming to pass at any point in the next half-decade is highly, highly, unlikely, (and were just as incredulous when he was signed) the possible payoff is worth so much in entertainment value that it’s worth saving a spot somewhere down the side of this Blog for the following:

the-pig2.jpg

Speaking of bold vituperations, I would also like to offer two 500-level tickets (wOw! That’s Blog income, baby) to whomever can most closely predict (without going over) the total number of F-bombs (both the four, six, seven, etc. letter varieties) dropped by the Drunk Jays Fans over the 2008 season. We’re going to start it at those that can be currently seen on their main page.

djfswear.jpg

Which I have to say is pretty fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fucking (I win!) awesome.

Written by halejon

February 14, 2008 at 1:34 am

Posted in Seriousness

16 Responses

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  1. Wait does this tally include Frank Thomas home runs or not?

    Dustin Parkes

    February 14, 2008 at 7:01 am

  2. P.S. Let’s Go Rowand!

    Dustin Parkes

    February 14, 2008 at 7:09 am

  3. Only if you cuss every time they leave the park. Which shouldn’t be hard.

    halejon

    February 14, 2008 at 7:14 am

  4. OK, I’ll take a stab at it…I’ll guess 1427. No one had better “Price is Right” me.

    Drunk Jays Fans or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the F-Bomb.

    scamper

    February 14, 2008 at 7:58 pm

  5. Love the guessing game… I’m going with 387.

    Ben Wideman

    February 14, 2008 at 8:13 pm

  6. If the pig has dynamite strapped to it, won’t be bacon be cooked?

    Torgen

    February 14, 2008 at 8:23 pm

  7. That seemed like such a good bet until someone decided to take us up on it.

    Talk about writing cheques that your arteries can’t cash.

    Tao of Stieb

    February 14, 2008 at 9:05 pm

  8. As long as it’s a full pound, I think it’s ok if the Bacon is slightly charred. ;)

    halejon

    February 14, 2008 at 9:38 pm

  9. On a completely unrelated note. I overheard a story last night about a fellow with no gag reflex who was challenged to eat as much butter as possible. It only cost him his spleen. The spleen isn’t one of those “important” organs is it?

    Did I mention I’m jazzed about the Raw Bacon Tracker, whoever came up with that one is brilliant.

    And just to piss Scamper off, I’m going with 1428. Ha! That’s for getting me hooked on Schlitz.

    mulliniks

    February 15, 2008 at 3:36 pm

  10. 1429.

    I think they can crack 2000 though. I really do. So I’ll take that but I still want the jerkiness credit of 1429 there. I guess that’s why nobody ever uses the price is right way to really pick anything.

    halejon

    April 1, 2008 at 8:22 am

  11. Whoohoo Rowand hit a homer today! Time to update the graphic!!

    Sheldon

    April 19, 2008 at 5:56 pm

  12. [...] puts him on pace for a whopping 9 this season, far short of the stated requirement for a pound of raw bacon to be consumed. But then he only had two at this point last [...]

  13. [...] know so well. And who would be so petty?? Hmmmm…maybe ask the Tao of Stieb who’s that petty (I’m that petty). « Get Off the Ledge Correction [...]

  14. Rowand has 5 dingers and the season is about 1/4 done.

    Bacon.

    Andrew

    May 16, 2008 at 9:58 pm

  15. [...] 2008 As has been pointed out a few times by you, faithful reader, while I started slacking on the Raw Bacon Tracker due to Aaron Rowand’s early-season rib injury, old bacon pants turned it up notch this month [...]

  16. omg i really admire BACON!

    jediSwiftPirate

    October 26, 2011 at 11:16 am


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